A Chill Christmas

I didn’t expect to write another one so soon, but I just feel like I have to say something about this.

End of year is not that special for me. I think people in general also just do not make a big deal out of this little, fleeting period of the year, specifically I mean 12/26/20XX - 01/01/(20XX+1). It’s like an empty space of nothingness. What are we supposed to do in this period? No idea. Until these few days, I think I finally got the point of this little vacuum of time.

So what did I do over the past few days? Nothing. Exactly. I woke up at 2pm, go on my laptop and played Pal World with Daniel until we go to sleep. When I’m not playing games, I’m watching Arcane, an animated action and drama TV show with Daniel, and reading my new books. I did little project, only when I was feeling “too restless to be still”. What was the last freaking time I’ve felt that?! I was always fagitued from grad school and my part time job. I’ve finally understand first, what it means to really “lay around and do nothing”; second, more interestingly, what means to charge your energy battery and use it to be productive. Then recharge again. Growing up to be a so-called “chicken kid” (Chinese online slang for children that’s been raised as an achiever and to be endlessly productive), I never knew what it meant to really, genuinely rest. Of course, I thought I knew, but I only knew what it theoretically meant, I didn’t experience it myself. I’m always, always “scraping” the bottom of my energy battery to get whatever that’s left there.

The first day I did this (nothing), I felt unsure: is this ok? Is it really ok?? And then I told myself that I will allow myself to do this at least till the new year’s day. And it has been an experience of nothingness that’s totally new and enlightening to me.

Whenever you get a free week, I suggest you also try do a “chill christmas” like me. Play some Pal World. It’s very theraputic. Good luck. ily.